I'm participating in Mary Lee Hahn's Our Wonderful World Poetry Challenge. Mary Lee has identified 30 wonders and each day we are writing about one. Today is the Channel Tunnel. I tried an arun (3 stanzas, 5 lines in each stanza, one syllable in first line, two in second, etc.).
then climb aboard
fine ocean dragon
deep strait for
emerge in Calais
cafe au lait,
in a patisserie
(c) Carol Wilcox, 2014
NOTE: If I have my choice, I am a morning writer. Unfortunately, most of this week, I have been super busy at work and haven't had my choice, instead, I've had to do the best I can, after some super long days. Yesterday I facilitated five 45-minute long grade level team meetings, then drove 45 minutes across town in traffic to teach a two hour class, talked with both sons about some poor choices, then came home and tried to write. This morning, I got up and thought, "YUCK!" The crossed out lines are my morning revisions.
I love how your began stanzas with verbs, which draws us into the "tunnel" of your poem. Nicely done!
Love seeing the revisions, even though I know they are there because it is hard (HARD) for you to write late at night after a crazy (CRAZY) day.
For the last line, I vote that you break the form and use six syllables. "in a patisserie."
Maybe this weekend we can both bank a poem ahead so that we're not so rushed and disappointed with our results.
It's great seeing the revisions. My response is that's what we do when we travel anyway, revise! Love the scones to baguettes!
Hats off! Anyone who follows 31days of slicing with 30 days of writing poetry is either insane or a writing goddess. I love the phrase "fine ocean dragon."
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