Sunday, March 22, 2020

SLICE 22/31- Does someone know something I don't know?

Sometimes I get a teeny bit creeped out by the whole social media thing. Usually, it has to do with Facebook or Google sending me advertisements for things I have recently purchased, or thought about purchasing. A couple of years ago, for instance, a first grade teacher friend and I were looking for white t-shirts. Her class was doing a unit on Mo Willems and Field Day was coming up. The kids wanted to make Pigeon or Gerald and Piggy T-shirts to wear on Field Day. We googled children's t-shirts and for weeks after that, we got advertisements for little boys' underwear. I kept thinking the school district was going to fire us for being pedophiles.

That "advertising connection/pollution" happens all of the time. I just bought cookies for my mom, so now I'm tempted by pictures of yummy desserts several times each day. Several weeks ago, I was stuck in a huge traffic jam next to a Rolls Royce. I wondered, as I sat there for over an hour, how much a Rolls Royce actually costs, so I googled it (for those of you who are now tempted to email me about irresponsible phone usage, I literally was at a full stop, for more than an hour) and now I get advertisements for ridiculously priced luxury cars several times a week. On a more mundane note,  I want to some minor bathroom remodeling, so right now, I get pictures of bathroom cupboards every day. 

This week, though, the advertising craziness reached an all time high. I have started getting advertisements for jobs. Clearly, the people who are sending the ads don't know anything about me. Driving an 18 wheeler shows up pretty much every day. Whoever is sending the ads doesn't know they are talking to a woman who struggles to parallel park her car in front of her house several times each day. 

And then there are the ads for nurses. If I thought there was anything I could do, I would be glad to volunteer in a hospital right now, but again, that's pretty much out of my league. I'm really healthy, but I'm over 60, so I'm considered high risk. I don't particularly like blood, although as a veteran teacher, I apply a mean band-aid. I don't do vomit, it makes me gag even after thirty plus years of teaching. Nursing does not seem like a likely second career. 

Today's choices include RTD Bus Cleaner (whoever sent this has clearly never seen the inside of my car, my own mother told me it looks like I live in the car a couple of weeks ago), KFC line manager (do you have to be able to cook? Or like KFC?), and Warehouse Worker (OK, I could probably do this, I carry our Scholastic Book Orders from the office to my classroom, up a flight of stairs and half a city block down).

I keep wondering though, why am I getting all of these ads for new jobs? Does someone know something I don't know?  Is a new career looming on my horizon?


Ms. Chiu said...

Too funny. Now that we are remote teaching, I wonder what else might pop up. Keep us posted on any new ads or changes in profession ��...

eddie said...

Haha - this is interesting! It's funny because I have been thinking about this as well and noticing it more and more. Maybe because I'm on stuff a little more with e-learning going on. Who knows what crazy algorithm has decided to try and entice you in what sounds like some pretty choice career moves right now. But yeah, someone does know something we don't. I think if we were able to lift the social media covers and see the machinery that is really at work that sends various ads in all of our directions, we'd be pretty blown away. Super cool take on this! Thanks!

Tamara said...

Hilarious and creepy all at the same time. I’ve been considering writing a post on Madison Reed targeting me with nonstop ads, attempting to capitalize on this horrible situation. Whatever you do, do not Google it! It’s do-it-yourself hair color.

Anonymous said...

This post really made me chuckle. I love the combinations of what you Googled and the advertisements you're now getting, and the descriptions of why all those suggested jobs are wrong for you. Your ending was really funny, too. Thanks so much for the laugh!