Thursday, March 19, 2015


J is sitting alone at a  table
when I walk into kindergarten this morning.
Everyone else has had breakfast
and moved on to centers,
but J was late,
 and so he sits there,
eating breakfast pizza
all by himself.

I sit down across from him.
"How are you doing?" I ask
just making conversation.

"I am not fine"
J says.

I am a little surprised
at his adamant tone of voice.

"Really?" I ask.
"What is going on?"

J's chin trembles.
"My mom is in jail,"
he says.

"I am so sorry, J.
That's so hard.
It's so hard."

I think back
to how sad
and worried
I felt all weekend.
I think about the gold jumpsuits.
I think about going to the jail
to visit via video cam.

And then I give J a hug.

We are two friends
missing the people
we love'


Ramona said...

Carol, how do you keep giving when you're hurting so much? That little guy was lucky you found him this morning. Such poignant words,
"We are two friends
missing the people
we love
Sending a virtual hug to you!

Linda B said...

Sometimes it helps to think of someone else who's hurting too, and give them one of your hugs. I'm sorry for that J, and wish things could be different. Thinking of you, Carol.

make.share.give said...

I'm sorry for what you're both having to live with, but so thankful you have each other.

Michelle said...

He needed you just as much as you needed him. Yet again, you have brought tears to my eyes. What is harder is that life moves forward. You must teach and be there for kids like J and he must be ready to learn. How do we do this? How do you keep giving? You are an amazing mom, teacher, daughter, sister, and friend. I'm praying hard for you, Carol, and your boys and for J and his mom.

Kim Oldenburgh said...

I'm glad you are there for that student. Your poems and posts. So emotional. I aspire to write like you someday.

Nanc said...

I think about you Carol...I just read back...I'm so so sorry. I'm loving you from Illinois. I'm hugging you too. Praying for you and praying for your boys...may the love of God reach your precious boys somehow. May they remember Jesus loves me...always. xo nanc

Melanie Meehan said...

J. is lucky to have you, as you understand more than he'll ever realize. It says a lot about you that he felt safe enough to tell you that he wasn't fine.