Tuesday, January 26, 2016


I have always told my boys
that your family
are the people that love you
and take care of your heart.

I have worked hard to help my boys find those people.
Team moms
and grandparents
and friends.
Those are their family.
The people who love them
and take care of their hearts.

And now I am having to take that advice myself.
This weekend life kicked me in the teeth hard.
Really hard.
The kind of hard
where you lay awake all night
then go to work the next morning
and try to function
but your eyes tear up
and your voice breaks
when least expect it.

Those kick in the teeth times are hard
when they come from people you don't know.
Who are not supposed to love you.
or care if they hurt your feelings
or break your heart.

But they are even harder
when they come from people you know.
The people you are supposed to love.
The people who are supposed to love you back
The people you are supposed to be able to trust.

And then you have to go to your real "family."
To the people who love you
and take care of your heart
to have the pieces put back together again.

Tonight I have book club.
And I will be with the people
who really are my family
The people
who love me
and take care of my heart.


Donna Smith said...

I'm at a loss for words. I have felt this before. It is not something you forget even when you've forgiven. I am glad that you will be with "family" tonight. And know that you are with "family" here, too!

elsie said...

This breaks my heart. You are so caring and giving to so many. I am happy that you have book club who will be there for you.

Linda B said...

I am sorry that you're having a tough, tough time, Carol. And glad that you will have that 'family' to help take care of you and surround you with love.

BarbaraSut said...

Sorry you are in such pain. I, too, have experienced this kind of shock and decided to create a new family for myself. It wasn't easy, but I no longer feel the kind of pain you are experiencing at this time in your life. People on this site have been very supportive of me and my new version of family. Family should be only the people who reallyl love you.

Lisa Keeler said...

I am sorry for this hard. What a beautiful way to describe family- the people who take care of your heart. I will remember that one.

Tara said...

I am glad that you will be with those who take care of your heart, Carol - may there be more of those for you, who so deserve caring hearts.

writekimwrite said...

Kick in the teeth times are horribly difficult! I am so sorry for this experience bringing sleepless nights and sorrow. Thankful you have family to love you back from it. Hugs and prayers to you Carol.

Nanc said...

I am praying for you this morning. I know your girls were there for you...and our God. XO nanc