Saturday, March 19, 2016
SLICE #19- Easter???
Maybe I should back up a little. I am a Christian. I've been a Christian for almost 40 years, since I was in high school. Throughout high school and college, and well into my twenties, I did tons of volunteer work for a Christian organization, Young Life. It was super important to me.
When I moved to Denver, in my early twenties, my church was pretty much the base of my spiritual and social life. I was involved in the Singles' group, and in a women's Bible Study, and I taught Sunday School to a group of kids from the time they were two, until they went to middle school. Later, I became a deacon at my church. I did that for a long time, maybe eight years.
My Christianity, was, for many years, a huge, huge, huge part of my life. My relationship with Christ was a huge, huge, huge part of my life.
I don't think that has been as true recently. When I adopted the boys, I changed churches. The church I had attended for many years, was about 98% Anglo. I wanted my boys to see people who looked like them at church, and so I switched churches, to find one that was more diverse for my boys. And I love the new church, but I've really struggled to get connected. First, the church is pretty far away, probably pretty close to half an hour through Denver traffic. Second, I found it hard to work all day, get the boys to all of their stuff, and participate in night activities. I just couldn't make it work. Now that the boys are older, I have found it harder to re-connect.
Besides the boys, I have stuff going on with my family origin. About two years ago, my mom had major brain surgery and moved into a senior citizen's center. For the past two years, then, I've gone to Colorado Springs every Sunday to see her. I leave between 8:30 and 9, and make the 130 mile round trip, getting home around 6 on Sunday night. My church does have a Saturday night service, but somehow, with everything else that's going on, I just don't make it happen. And I guess I could find a Sunday night service, but to be really honest, by the time I've driven to Colorado Springs, and helped my mom with stuff, and lifted her wheelchair in and out of the car five or six times, I 'm super tired.
Mostly, I think it's kind of a crisis of faith. The past couple of years with the boys have been hard and hard and hard. And I have prayed and prayed and prayed. And nothing happens. There's another really hard issue going on with my sisters right now. And I have prayed and prayed and prayed, nothing happens. And then there's another issue that has been hard for a long, long, time, probably more than 30 years. And I have prayed and prayed and prayed, and nothing happens. And I know all of the verses about faith and trust and God's character, and it's still really, really, really hard.
So this year, I didn't know when Easter was, until my mom told me she had made reservations for brunch on March 27th.
And it makes me a little sad.
Because Easter used to be really important to me.