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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

SLICE OF LIFE


Tomorrow night my guys come home.
I can't wait to head to the airport
Can't wait to see
those gorgeous guys
And give them great big hugs.
And yet I must confess 
a little trepidation. 

Holidays
for my guys
are sometimes
really hard. 

I am remembering
 our first Thanksgiving.
I dressed my sons in matching sweaters.
We went to my mom's house
Took pictures
of our six month old family.
Watched parades
Played board games
ate turkey and pumpkin pie
My sons entertained everyone
by singing a shark song
they had learned at daycare.
We seemed so ordinary.

I wish I had known
that my boys expected
deep fried turkey
sweet potato pie
cornbread and honey
and I gave them 
roasted turkey
pumpkin pie
and crescent rolls
maybe I am glad 
I did not understand
the complexity 
of fitting together
two very different families

Maybe bigger
I wish I had understood
that holidays
for kids who have never had holidays
Can be really, really hard.

I wish I had understood
that some kids remember
drunken brawls
unfilled promises
fear and sadness
those kids, my kids,
 grieve for a family 
that never 
really
 was.

And so tonight
I can't wait to see my guys
And yet I steel myself
because I know 

holidays
for my guys
are sometimes
really hard.

2 comments:

Michelle Haseltine said...

What a beautiful, sad, and love-filled poem! Holidays can be hard sometimes, but your guys have a mom that loves them and understands them. Best wishes for a love-filled Thanksgiving!

LInda Baie said...

I'm hopeful for you and the boys, Carol, that the rough things can be overcome by just being together! Happy Thanksgiving!