SLICE 20/31- I miss my kids!

I miss teaching.

I miss seeing my kids and reading to them and talking about books.

I miss seeing their faces light up when I tell them they did something well in their writing.

And how that same thing usually shows up the next time they write.

And how they point out that they did it again.

I miss hearing about their families and pets and music practices and sports teams.

I miss them.

I'm trying to stay connected.

Every two days, I email them on their school accounts. I am not sure how many of them are actually reading them, because not that many reply. When they do reply, I jump right on it, and send them back personal emails.

My teammate set up Zoom, then taught me how to do it. We plan on being there every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, until "real school," such as it is, starts again.

Today five kids joined us on Zoom. K didn't like seeing himself on camera and kept covering his face up with his hoodie. J only stayed for a few minutes, then left. Girl K did her makeup, including curling her eyelashes. Sweet B was very quiet, but stayed almost the whole time. And R taught us about his video games.

We met for about an hour. We all dragged our pets into the screen and compared pet stories. We talked about what we are reading. We played a drawing game. And made plans to get together on Monday.

It was so good to see them.

I miss my kids!

SLICE 19/31- A good day for learning

I guess it's time to admit it. I work a lot-- sometimes more than sixty hours a week. And that doesn't include the evenings at home responding to essays, preparing lessons, talking to parents, etc. And then I do other stuff- Spanish class, Bible Study, Weight Watchers, Book Club, and dog classes. And now, all of a sudden, everything has ground to a halt. I don't have a husband or any kind of significant other. My sons are adults-- they live at home, but they don't spend a lot of time with me. And life is way, way, way quieter than I'm used to.

I'm trying hard to establish some kind of schedule for myself. Every day I try to:

• read my Bible
• do housework
• do financial stuff (taxes, etc.)
• spend time outside
• do something physical
• do some reading
• do some writing
• connect by phone or video chat with other human beings
• learn something
• practice my Spanish

So far, I think I have been the most successful in the "learn something" category. Today, for instance, I did two big "learn something" activities. First, I watch Ralph Fletcher's presentation on keeping a notebook. Ralph actually did the presentation yesterday, but I was driving the puppy to the mountains, so I missed it. He shared his full-sized notebook and also a smaller "stealth notebook" that fits in his shirt pocket.  Ralph also shared a poem, and encouraged watchers to write off of the first and last lines. Here is my first attempt:

“Football Mom”

Sometimes I remember 

the good old days

watching you

team captain

a red and white flash

flying into the end zone.

And you,

after the game,

shy smiled

king of the field

pushing your way 

through adoring fans

to give your mom

a sweat-scented 

post game hug. 

I still can’t imagine 

anything better than that.

(c) Carol Wilcox, 2020

 Later this afternoon, I watched Penny Kittle and Kelly Gallagher on You Tube. Every day this week, Penny and Kelly have amazingly and graciously gotten together (cross country) and shared their thinking about reading and writing. It's been beyond fabulous; thoughtful and deep and practical, such a sweet respite in the middle of these crazy days. Penny and Kittle have also pulled together an amazing guest list. Today was Donna Santmann, a middle school teacher from New York City, who talked about using notebooks with her middle school students. Donna was down-to-earth and realistic and really honest about her work with her middle schoolers. And she said a couple of things I really want to remember...

It’s eighth grade.They’re little. Let them play.Who cares if they are wrong?

They’re not so deep.

We’re not so deep. 

Most of us are fairly ordinary. 

         Let’s embrace just being beautifully ordinary.

Today was a good day for learning

SLICE 18/31- IN WHICH I FEEL MORE THAN A LITTLE BIT DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF

So I have to tell you that I'm feeling more than a little
disappointed in myself tonight.

Maybe even ashamed of myself.

It has to do with our state tests.

Yesterday, our state department of education announced that we will not be having the tests.

And that's a good thing. I hate those tests.

At the same time,  I feel really disappointed in myself.

Because we spent a whole lot of time getting ready for the tests.

We did A LOT of literary analysis paragraphs and essays.

My kids were ready for the test.

And now they are not even going to take it.

(As of today, according to our governor,
we may not even go back to school at all this year.
That seems totally crazy to me!)

I think what I'm most disappointed about is what we didn't do,
because we were writing those stupid essays.

We didn't tell enough stories.

We didn't write enough narrative.

We didn't read enough poetry.

Especially not the kind of poetry that kids love.

And we definitely didn't write enough poetry.

We were going to do that in April.

We didn't do enough writing to express our opinions.

Or use our voices to change the world.

Instead, we wrote literary analysis.

Every year, for the past three years, I have told myself I am NOT
going to fall into the testing rabbit hole.

Instead, I am going to do real teaching.

Every day.

All year.

I think I did better this year than I did last year.

We started the year with a Coming of Age unit.

And wrote some personal narrative.

We did a unit on Immigration.

We read infographics.

And read and wrote informative pieces.

And did some writing around undocumented immigrants
(a topic that impacts a lot of my kids).

Even so, we wrote way too much literary analysis.

And now, I'm feeling really badly.

Because I am not sure my sixth graders understand

that reading and writing can make their lives better

and also change their world.

And it really doesn't matter

that they can write literary analysis.

SLICE 17/31- TODAY I TOOK A PUPPY BREAK

Today I took a puppy break.

No CNN.

No Facebook.

No Twitter.

No Corona Virus.

Today I did puppies, pretty much all day.

CaPR, the organization that owns Rooney, has three new puppies- Vail, Frisco, and Breck- named after Colorado ski resorts.

The puppies arrived from California about ten days ago.

One of the puppies, Breck, is going to spend the next month or so in Salida, a mountain town about three hours southwest of Denver, with one of the CaPR board members.

CaPR needed someone to transport him to meet her in Fairplay, which is not quite two hours away.

And because I don't have a whole lot going on right now, I volunteered. A drive in the mountains would be nice. And it doesn't feel like I am violating any social distancing rules because I will spend two hours driving, get out of the car long enough to pass off the puppy, and then turn around and drive back.

Today Rooney and I picked Breck up in Boulder, where he has been staying with his brother, Frisco, since he arrived. I brought him, and his crate, and his harness, and his bag of food to my house. Tomorrow, I will drive him to Fairplay.

But this afternoon, he and Rooney played.

And played.

And played.

Tag.

Tug of war.

Bitey face.

And I laughed.

And laughed

And laughed.

It was a nice change from thinking about Corona Virus.

And all of its short and long range implications.

Today I took a puppy break.

SLICE 16/31- Today was a hard day

Today was a hard day.

I went into school with the intention of straightening my classroom library and cleaning up my office. When I got there, the administrative team was congregating in the office. They were there to do triage, or at least that's what it felt like. A local restaurant, a really nice restaurant, wanted to give dinners to 50 people, starting tonight. And that was great, except that we probably have 200 kids, not to mention siblings, and parents, that could use meals right now.

We also had some gift cards to give out. $50 to King Soopers. $50 is not much, but it's better than nothing.

And then there was the option of free "grab and go" breakfasts and lunches at schools around town, and also dinners at the recreation centers.

The administrative team was a little shorthanded, so I volunteered to call the sixth graders. We had listed about half of the sixth grade class, about thirty kids, as possibly needing support. I called down the list, explaining the situation in my less than perfect Spanish.

Some of the parents thanked me, but said they were ok right now.

Others said yes, they would like the gift card.

And still others said yes, and arrived within minutes to pick it up.

When they came, we offered them access to the teacher supply closet.

D and his family took markers, crayons, notebook paper, pencils, and glue. S and her mom, who I had never met before today took wipes, kleenex, and paper towels. G wanted plain white paper for drawing.

Every time I said goodbye to someone, I wanted to cry.

I know how far $50 goes at King Soopers. Not very. Especially when you are feeding a family of five or six or seven, like many of the families at our school are doing. I wonder what they will do when the cards run out.

I know how icky the bag lunches from school can be. We take them on field trips. I always bring bags of chips, and cookies, to try to offset the nasty bologna sandwiches and bruised fruit that usually appears in the bag lunches. And now kids will be eating those lunches for days on end. With no extra bags of chips or cookies.

And I know how much our families depend on school-- for everything from day care, to social worker, to medical diagnoses. And now we won't be there for them, for at least three weeks, and probably a whole lot longer.

Today was a hard day.

SLICE 15/31- Today is Sunday. I'm supposed to visit my mom.

Today is Sunday.

For the last five years, Sunday has meant one thing for me.

I've driven to Colorado Springs, about 65 miles south of where I live in Denver, to visit my mom.

My mom is in an independent living center there. She's 86 years old, and sharp as a whip, to use an old term. She lived alone and drove until she was 80. About five years ago, however, she had to have a shunt put into her brain.  Since then, she has had a few balance and vision issues. She moved into a senior living apartment, where someone is always available if she needs help. There's a dining room where she can eat if she wants to, and there are also activities every day.

My mom doesn't drive anymore, but still manages to get out almost every day.  She goes to the grocery store on the facility's shuttle bus. She also goes to dinner once or twice a week on the shuttle. A friend still drives and they play bridge several times a week, at various venues around the city. And she's in two book clubs.

My sisters and I also see my mom, pretty much every week. One sister goes most Saturdays. They get their nails done together and then usually have lunch. Occasionally, when my brother-in-law is out of town, my sister and mom also go out for dinner during the week. My other sister and her partner usually see my mom sometime midweek for dinner. And Rooney and I go on Sundays.

Most weeks, we don't do anything all that exciting. Sometimes my mom has errands she needs to run. We go to Barnes and Nobel to restock her never-ending need for reading material. We go to the office supply store. We go to Target. Sometimes we go to the grocery store. Once in awhile, usually when it's just starting to get warm, like it is right now, we go for a walk around the park across the street from her place. Once in a while, we go to a movie. And we always go have lunch.

So today, right about now, actually I should be heading out to Colorado Springs. I'm not though, because her entire facility is shut down because of the Corona virus. No one is allowed to go in unless they are a medical care provider. If I want, I can take my mom groceries or a meal, but workers would take it from me at the door, and deliver it to her room. No one is allowed to go in or out.

Today is Sunday. I'm supposed to be driving to Colorado Springs.

Today I'm missing my mom and our regular routine.

On Sundays, we are supposed to be together.

SLICE #14/31- Maybe I am getting old

I'm getting older. 61 last Friday, to be exact.

I like to think that I am still flexible and open to change, except a few things have happened recently that are causing me to wonder.

The grocery store I have shopped in for the last five years, is undergoing a complete, and I mean complete renovation. Everything is in a different place than it was. And it's not having to look for things that bothers me, ok, I guess it does a little; but it's really more having to readjust my shopping patterns. One of my staples, for example, is Diet Coke. I buy a 12 pack pretty much every week. And it's always been on the far north side of the store. I start on the south side of the store, in the fruits and vegetables department, so by the time I get to the north side, my cart is full and I'm pretty much done. I grab a couple of things in the dairy department, heft the Diet Coke onto the bottom shelf of my cart, and then usually, unless I need tylenol or bandaids, I make my way to the checkout stand.

Last week, though, they moved all of the Diet Coke, and other related items to the southeast corner of the store, right beside the bread. I saw it today,  but I didn't want to put it in my cart at that point in time. It was on sale, 3 twelve packs for $11. I didn't want to push the cart around with three twelve packs; first because it's heavy, and secondly because one inevitably falls off and either breaks open, so the cans roll around in the aisle, or it gets stuck under the front wheels of the cart and I have to dislodge it.

I decided I would do my shopping, then back track to pick up the Diet Coke when I was almost done. But then I forgot to backtrack. I remembered that I had forgotten while I was waiting in line, but the lines were super long, and I had already waited fifteen minutes, and I didn't want to start all over again. I decided, then, that I would stop back by the store, or maybe another store, tomorrow.

I was bummed because I wanted to cross grocery shopping off my list. And now I can't. Because I didn't quite finish.

I don't think I am quite as flexible as I would like to believe.

Maybe I am getting old...