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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

SLICE OF LIFE

The empty nest thing has been an adjustment.
Now, almost 15 months later, I'm still trying to remember who I was.
And what I used to do before after dinner homework and sports practices and team meals.
It's really easy to fill up every minute with work.
Because I love my work.
And it really doesn't feel like work.
At the same time, I don't want my whole life to be about work.
And so last night, I left before five (at least an hour before my typical time).
Went home and fed the dogs.
And walked Star.
(Boo is a princess. And princesses don't walk on leashes.
They just supervise life from their princess bed thrones).
And then I went to a meeting.

Community Bible Study.
Before I had the boys, I did several different small group Bible studies.
And I loved being part of a small group
and studying God's word.
But in the last ten years there just hasn't been time.
Or someone to watch the boys if I went out in the evenings.
But now there are no boys to watch.
No uniforms to wash.
No algebra homework to check.
And it's time to start a new phase.

I was really nervous.
Even though I spend my days interacting with people
I'm basically an introvert.
Who would be happy to go home, walk the dog
and then sit on the couch doing schoolwork
for two or three more hours before bed.

But last night I made myself
get in my car and go.
All the way there I debated turning around.
Traffic was terrible
and it took 45 minutes
to make what should have been a 15 minute drive,
It would have been easy to make a right turn
and head back the way I had just come. 
I need a haircut
and I considered doing that instead.
Even when I drove into the parking lot
and turned off the car
I considered not getting out.
Just going back to my nice safe couch
and my kinda new life. 

But I made myself walk in
and fill out the registration
then sit down in the auditorium.
Forced myself not to leave before the small group time
was surprised to discover that most of the women are about my age
most are single- divorced, widowed, or never married.
A few have children. Several dog moms.
A CPA. A retired nurse turned coffee shop owner.
An administrative assistant or two.
A doctor who has recently scaled back her practice
to spend more time with her high school aged sons.
I wondered about the possibility of new friendships.
Thought about who I might like to know better.

It's time to start figuring out what I want this new phase of life to include. 

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Good for you Carol! It's good for your soul too. I'm like you ... introvert, stay at home, read. But connected with others is worth every new moment of angst. Can I say ... "I'm proud of you!!" Enjoy building new relationships to learn more about who you are in this new chapter of your life!

Tara Smith said...

Sometimes, those of us who are introverted really have to do exactly what you describe - push ourselves and "just do it!". Glad you did, Carol - sounds like a great group.

elsie said...

I know that trepidation of doing something out of the norm. Good for you for not turning around. I hope this becomes a new avenue for you to travel, but not alone.

LInda Baie said...

Sounds like this decision to go was a good one, Carol. Glad you made yourself make it happen!

Mary Lee said...

Best wishes for the new phase of your journey! There are new friends waiting to be blessed by your energy, passion for life, and ready laugh!