WHAT I'M READING

My motto in life, "When the going gets tough, the tough get reading." And so I read a lot this weekend…

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

Hazel is a sixteen-year-old girl who has spent most of her teenage years been battling cancer that started in her thyroid and metastasized to her lungs. At a cancer support group, she meets osteosarcoma survivor, Augustus (Gus) Waters. Although Hazel has determined that she will not allow anyone to be close to her (she likens herself to a human grenade who will explode and cause pain in people's lives), Gus soon convinces her otherwise. A gorgeously written, very realistic (or at least it seems realistic) novel about teenagers living life with laughter and joy and courage in the face of really tough odds. Note to my elementary teacher friends: This is definitely YA- upper middle school and high school.

WONDER is another book that everyone is talking about (and should be). I downloaded it on Netgalley and read it in one sitting, then ran out and bought it today, planning to start it as a fourth grade read aloud on Wednesday. WONDER is the story of ten-year-old August, who was born with serious facial deformities. Because he has had to undergo many surgeries, he has always been home schooled. Now, in the fifth grade, his parents think he is ready to attend school with everyone else. Auggie has mixed feelings, mostly because he has spent his entire life with people staring at him and saying unkind things. Told through the eyes of several different people, including Auggie, his sister Via (short for Olivia), Olivia's boyfriend Justin, Olivia's former best friend Miranda, and Jack, a child who becomes one of Auggie's best friends at school. So much to love about this book- the varying voices of narrators, beautiful writing, but most of all, the messages of kindness and caring and courage. I can't wait to share this with my kids on Wednesday, I think we have a lot to learn from Auggie.

The third book I read this weekend was WHERE YOU LEFT ME, by Jennifer Gardner Trulson. Jennifer Gardner was a former lawyer, the wife of Doug Gardner, and the mom of five-year-old Michael and Julia, age 2, when 9/11 changed her life forever. Doug, an executive at Cantor Fitzgerald, was killed, and Julia had to remake her life without him. Her children, especially her daughter, were very young, and Trulson wanted to preserve their dad's memory, so she started keeping a journal and recording her memories on a hand held tape recorder. WHERE YOU LEFT ME also chronicles the development of her relationship with her second husband, Derek Trulson.

Finally, I'm reading STILL: NOTES ON A MID-FAITH CRISIS by Lauren F. Winner. I read Winner's faith memoir, GIRL MEETS GOD several years ago. A week or two ago, I read that Winner had a new book, STILL: NOTES ON A MID-FAITH CRISIS. The reviewer likened Winner's newest book to that of Anne LaMott, who is one of my favorite writers. Of course I immediately had to download the book. Winner has, in the last few years, gone through a divorce and pretty much journeyed away from God, and then is in the process of rethinking what she believes. I'm only about a third of the way in, but am totally enjoying her honesty and faith journey.

Next week's reading, I hope:

A MONSTER CALLS

THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN

HUNGER GAMES

ALL IN- GENE CHIZIK

I'm always on the lookout for books that might interest my football loving, book hating sons. In fact, I think I have probably read every football memoir and/or biography published in the last seven or eight years. If you aren't a sports fan, or a sports parent, you can probably stop reading right now. If you don't like when people link their professional lives, and particularly their professional sports lives with their Christianity, you can stop reading now. If you are looking for books to add to your elementary classroom, you can stop reading now.

ALL IN is the story of Auburn football coach Gene Chizik. For those of you who don't know much about football, Auburn, coached by Chizik, won they national championship in January, 2011. The team's quarterback was Cam Newton, who now plays for the Carolina Panthers and was recently named NFL rookie of the year. ALL IN traces Chizik's journey as a coach, including his very controversial decision to leave a head coaching position at Iowa State after only two years. Throughout the book, Chizik integrates his views on football, faith, and family.

I read ALL IN through lots of different lenses. First, I read it through the lens of a high school football player wanting to be successful at the college level. I think Chizik has lots to say to kids in this group-- mainly that there are lots of talented kids, that players need to work hard, and perhaps most importantly, that football is a TEAM and not an INDIVIDUAl sport. I wish I could get my boys to read this book because I think these are important messages.

I also read this book as a mom. On one hand, I wondered what it would like to be an Iowa State parent, who had entrusted your child to Chizik, only to have him leave a short time later. On the other hand, I would like to have my boys playing for a coach who seems to emphasize team over individual, and character over football. I also appreciated that Chizik talked about his role as a man working with a team of young men, more than half of whom have grown up without fathers. As a single mom, I'm so grateful for the role coaches have played in my boys' lives.

Finally, I read this book as a Christian. As a believer, I'm interested in other people's faith journeys, and this one was no exception. Chizik doesn't sugarcoat his faith. He doesn't say that all of his relationships are perfect. He doesn't believe that God "gave" him a national championship. Rather, he believes that it is his job to actively pursue his relationship with God, and to live that out with his own wife and kids, and in his job. That makes sense to me.

A typical sports biography for the football loving crowd…

UNTIL TUESDAY- Luis Carlos Montalvan

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for a dog story. And if that dog is a Golden Retriever, well, I am all over it!

UNTIL TUESDAY is a gorgeous memoir about 17-year Army veteran and his service dog, Tuesday. Montalvan was serving in Iraq when he was ambushed and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. After his tour of duty, pain from his injuries and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder disabled him to the point where he was unable to leave his house, connect with friends or family members, or have anything remotely resembling a "normal" life.

That was until he met Tuesday, the service dog who was to become his best friend and constant companion. Tuesday takes care of physical needs, such as retrieving shoes, but more importantly, comforts and calms Montalvan, and has enabled him to heal emotionally and resume a more normal life.

I expected a heartwarming man and dog memoir. UNTIL TUESDAY is definitely that (get your tissue box ready!), but it's much, much more. Montalvan (who is highly critical of the US government/Army's handling of the war) helped me to see the Iraqi war through the eyes of a soldier and to better understand PTSD. Montalvan also exposes the discrimination faced by people who use service dogs- I was stunned to learn that there are many restaurants, stories, and even transportation entities, such as city buses, that don't allow the dogs onto their premises.

A must read for dog lovers. This is an adult book, but high school and maybe even middle school readers would enjoy it. There is some violence and vivid imagery in the scenes that take place in Iraq.

FOLLOWING EZRA by Tom Fields-Meyer

It's December 20th, the second day of midwinter break. I had anticipated that I would be devouring children's books, reading a book a day, trying to get some of the Newbery prospects under my belt before the announcement in January. Instead, my reading journey has taken a sidetrack. I'm reading a memoir, FOLLOWING EZRA: WHAT ONE FATHER LEARNED ABOUT GUMBY, OTTERS, AUTISM, AND LOVE FROM HIS EXTRAORDINARY SON.

Tom Fields-Meyer, former PEOPLE magazine journalist, and his wife, Shawn, a rabbi, have three sons. Their middle son, Ezra, now about 15, has autism (I'm never quite sure if I am wording this correctly, so my apologies if I'm not). Ezra loves the zoo, dogs, and all things Disney/Pixar. He memorizes dates and addresses and and birthdays and uses those as his avenue to connect with people. This book chronicles Fields-Meyer's journey, not to grieve the son that he might have had, but rather to understand, appreciate, and love the son that he has.

One scene beautifully captures my most important learning from this book. Ezra is starting at a new preschool, and Dawn, his new teacher, has come to the house to meet him. Shawn and Tom are attempting to explain that Ezra rarely responds when people address him. Dawn's comments absolutely blow me away…

"Some teachers figure, 'Well, you speak Japanese and I speak English, so there's no way we can ever communicate. But I want to learn Japanese. I want to learn to speak Ezra's language and communicate with Ezra, so he'll let me into his world. That's what this is all about…."

FOLLOWING EZRA is teaching me, on a whole bunch of different levels, to speak Japanese. First, I'm reading it as a friend. A very close friend of mine has a son who has autism and they have travelled a long, bumpy, exhausting road. I never quite know what to say, or how to best support her and her family, especially given that they live 1,500 miles away. And so, as I read FOLLOWING EZRA, I'm thinking about my friend, and thinking about how I can better walk beside her, and learn to speak Japanese …

Second, I'm reading it as a teacher. I bet every one of us can think of kids that we teach that may or may not be autistic, but that don't quite "fit the mold" we are supposed to shove them into. I think of a little boy I know that chews on his clothes incessantly. The necklines and sleeves of his shirts and jackets are always wet and hole-y. After weeks, ok, maybe even months, of trying to get him to stop, talking to his mom, planning secret signals, etc. I finally had an epiphany. "If he wants to put something in his mouth, just give him something to put in his mouth." And now I keep gum in my desk drawer, and he doesn't chew his clothes, and I wonder why I spent three months trying to fix something, when all I really needed to do was learn to speak a little Japanese…

And finally, I'm reading it as a parent. Without disclosing any details that would embarrass my offspring, well, let's just say it's really hard to be a parent. It's especially hard when you feel like every one else has kids that are polite, well-behaved, respectful, smart, organized, orderly, artistic, athletic, musical, etc., etc., etc. And your own are, well, ummm, not any of those things, or at least there seem to be a lot more items on the deficit than on the assets list. And you feel badly that your kids don't fit the mold that everyone else's kids fit so neatly. And so instead of learning to speak Japanese, you try to cram English down their throats. And even then, they don't speak English better, instead, they feel bad, and you feel bad, and everyone is hurt and mad and frustrated. When what you probably really need to do is just relax and love them and learn to speak a little Japanese…

FOLLOWING EZRA is a great read. Especially for a friend, teacher, or parent that really needs to learn Japanese.

MY READING LIFE- PAT CONROY

Over Christmas break, I read Pat Conroy's MY READING LIFE. I checked it out from the library, but I think it is one I am going to have to own. It is a book that is meant to be savored- read, reread, underlined, dogeared, copied, quoted.

Here a few of my favorite lines, so far, anyway:

I had witnessed with my own eyes that a poem could make a Colonel cry. Though it was not part of a lesson plan, it imparted a truth that left me spellbound. Great words, arranged with cunning and artistry, could change the perceived world for some readers. From the beginning, I’ve searched out those writers unafraid to stir up the emotions, who entrust me with their darkest passions, their most indestructible yearnings, and their most soul killing doubts. I trust the great novelists to teach me how to live, how to feel, how to love and hate. I trust them to show me the dangers I will encounter on the road as I stagger on my own troubled passage through a complicated life of books that try to teach me how to die. pp 10-11

I take it as an article of faith that the novels I’ve loved will live inside me forever. 11

Writing about a very special high school teacher

“Tell me a story,” he commanded and I did. Those were the last words he ever spoke to me and they formed an exquisite unimprovable epitaph for a man whose life was rich in the guidance of children not his own. He taught them a language that was fragrant with beauty, treacherous with loss, comfortable with madness and despair and a catchword for love itself. His students mourned Gene all over the world, wherever they found themselves. They were ecstatic to be part of the dance. 76

Slowly my students started displaying the confidence that comes from being smart. 79

I grew up a word haunted boy. I felt words inside me and stored them wondrous as pearls. I mouthed them and fingered them and rolled them around on my tongue. My mother filled my bedtime hour with poetry that rang like Sanctus bells as she praised the ineffable loveliness of the English language with her Georgia-scented voice. I found that hive of words beautiful beyond all conveyance. They clung to me and blistered my skin and made me happy to be alive in the land of crape myrtle, spot-tailed bass and eastern diamond backs. The precise naming of things served as my entryway into art. The whole world could be sounded out. I could arrange the whole world into a tear sheet of music composed of words as pretty as flutes or the tail feathers of peacocks.

From my earliest days, I felt compelled to form a unique relationship with the English language. I used words to fashion a world that made sense to me. p. 85

I could build a castle from the words I steal from books I cherish. 87

I’ve known dozens of writers who fear the pitfalls and fastnesses of the language they write in and the glossy mess of the humanity they describe. Yes, humanity is a mess and it takes the immensity of a coiled and supple language to do it justice. 88

Writing is the only way I have to explain my own life to myself. 88

At an early age, I had turned to reading as a way for the world to explain itself to me. p.111

Books are living things and their task lies in their vows of silence. You touch them as they quiver with a divine pleasure. You read them and they fall asleep to happy dreams for the next ten years. If you do them the favor of understanding them, of taking in their portions of grief and wisdom, then they settle down in contented wisdom in your heart. 111

I envied the way they (poets) could make language smoke and burn and give off a bright light of sanctuary. The great ones could fill what was empty in me. In the vast repository of language, the poets never shout at you when you pass them by. Theirs is a seductive, meditative art. They hand you a file to cut your way out from any seductive prison of misrule.

On my writing desk, I always keep the poets close by, and I reach for them when those silver, mountain-born creeks go dry or when exhaustion rearranges the furniture of my fear chambered heart. The poets force me back to the writing life, where the trek takes you into the interior, where the right word hides like an ivy-billed woodpecker in the branches of the highest pines. 141-142

LIFT by Kelly Corrigan

So yesterday, I had one of those bad mother days. Get up. Wake children up. Drive 20 miles to summer school. Fight with son about going to summer school. Go to work for a couple of hours. Pick sons up at summer school. Drive home. Pack a couple of boxes for the move that is supposedly happening in about ten days. Wake up sons, who have spent 2 hours between summer school and football sleeping. Drive 20 miles back to town for football practice. Run errands, go for a walk, kill 3 more hours while the boys finish football. Find out son's phone has been stolen from his backpack at football. Fight with son about phone. Fight with son about life. Take other son to get hair rebraided. Get food for sons to eat in the car. Fight with both sons about life.

I came home to one of my new favorite adult books- LIFT by Kelly Corrigan. LIFT is a book of Corrigan's essays about parenting. It's short. It's a quick read. And boy does she have some great stuff to say.

About being a family photographer:
The trick to pleasing the client, I figured out pretty fast, was cropping out every nick, scrape, and bruise, along with the pimply parts, the second chins, and any flash of impatience or disappointment in either parent's brow. It's embarassing how much we want to idealize family.

About life (or parenting):
Trust me when I say there's a lot you can figure out as you go. You don't have to be Qualified or Experienced. Nobody really knows what they're doing, except maybe gene splitters, and even they'd probably admit there's an unteachable art to everything.

About her husband's reaction to things that could happen to their kids:
Real things? Things involving you guys (her daughters)? I don't think he can bear to consider them, so he lowers his emotional garage door and locks it from the inside.

After a week when her daughter was hospitalized with a life-threatening infection:
I came to know what a bold and dangerous thing parenthood is. Risk was not an event we'd survived, but a place we now lived.


A lovely read for any less than perfect moms you know…

The Long Snapper- Jeffrey Marx

Things my sons like: sports, girls, video games. Things my sons do not like: school, deep conversations with their mother, reading. As a mom and a reader, this breaks my heart, and I'm on a never-ending quest for "the book" that will turn them into readers. Add this title to that list.

Brian Kinchen is teaching his fourth period class at Parkview Baptist Middle School when he gets a call from the New England Patriots. They are two weeks from the playoffs and their long snapper is hurt. They want Kinchen, a retired 13 year veteran of the NFL, to try out for the position. Kinchen wins the position, and ultimately ends up as the snapper for the Patriots game-winning Super Bowl field goal.

In the six weeks in between the tryout and the Super Bowl, however, Kinchen goes through a horrific slump. During his 13 years in the NFL, he was known as a perfectly accurate and dependable snapper, but now, all of a sudden, his snaps are going everywhere but where they need to be. Kinchen does everything he can- watches himself on film, consults coaches, other players, practices every night at his motel, prays. He is terrified that his inconsistency will lose the big game for his team, and at one point, three days before the Super Bowl, even goes so far as to call the coach who brought him in for the tryout to tell him that he needs to find another long snapper.

This is a great story about passion and purpose and self esteem. My favorite lines from the book actually come from the movie Cool Running, about the Jamaican Bobsledding team. In the movie, it is the night before a big race, and the coach is talking to his team's driver. "A gold medal is a wonderful thing," he says. "But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

It's funny how sometimes books you read for other people end up speaking loudly to you…

THREE LITTLE WORDS: A MEMOIR- Ashley Rhodes-Courter

When Ashley Rhodes was about three years old, the Florida Department of Human Services determined her mother unfit, and took custody of Ashley and her younger brother. The two children spent the next ten years bouncing from foster home to foster home. Some of the situations were passable, several, however, were absolutely horrific. In one particularly unbearable situation, Ashley lived in a trailer, approved for two children, with eleven other foster children. The children were made to drink hot sauce or crawl around the dirt backyard on their knees for punishment.

When Ashley was about twelve, she was adopted by Gay and Phil Courter. Gay and Phil had already raised two biological sons. When they survived the crash of a private plane, they decided they had been left on Earth to do something special. They adopted Ashley and took on all of the complications of life with a child who had never experience a normal, loving home (not to mention all of the regular teenage issues).

I adopted my sons out of the foster care system when they were seven and nine. Although I had known my boys for several years, nothing prepared me for the length of the adjustment period, or for the depth of the heartache they had gone through. I wish this book had been available to me, then, because I think it would have made our journey a lot easier. This memoir is a must read for anyone involved with children in the foster care system.

"Broken promises crippled me for many years. As the Courters kept their promises to me, my faith in others were expanded. Day after day, they were there for me; until one day, I not only felt safe, I did not want to leave. Maybe that is one definition of love" (p. 289).

LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER- MAYA ANGELOU

 A new book from an old friend. One of my all time, all time, all time heroes is Maya Angelou. This week, a dear friend gifted me with Angelou's wonderful new book, LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER. 

LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER  is a collection of poems and essays about various "chapters" in Angelou's life. On one hand, it's a fast read- the stories are wonderful and inviting and easy to read. On the other hand, it's a really slow read, because every single page, maybe even every paragraph, has at least two or three morsels of wisdom that you have to kind of roll around in your head, and reflect, and sort of grow into. There's a poem about graduation that I think will be perfect to share with my 18-year-old niece this spring. There is a poem about grieving that would make a perfect sympathy card. 

Here are a few tidbits from the book:

"My life has been long, and believing that life loves the liver of it, I have dared to try many things, sometimes trembling, but daring, still."  (xi)

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution." xii

Never whine. Whining lets a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood. xiii

Be certain that you do not die without having done something wonderful for humanity.