It has been a long long week.
Days spent committing
educational malpractice
in seventy or eighty or ninety minute units.
A couple of late afternoon
and evening meetings.
A night teaching
for the ELA department.
And then evenings
missing my boys.
Wondering whether they have found jobs.
Or joined the military.
What they are eating.
If they have gotten hair cuts.
How much they are smoking.
Whether they miss me.
And know
that I will always
consider myself
their mom.
I want to sit on the porch
and watch the sun go down.
Drink a glass of wine
(which I never do alone)
Maybe read for a little while.
Watch a little basketball
Then go to bed. Early.
And sleep for about twenty hours straight.
Instead
I walk the dog
to the neighborhood grocery
buy a couple of diet cokes
and some oatmeal cookies
then head home
and turn on my computer.
I have papers to read
and a powerpoint to prepare.
I have to teach tomorrow morning
and my students deserve
far more
than I have to give
right now.
I love the format you chose! Friday nights are always tough. To work or to not work... is really the question. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYour mind will churn out the job and you will teach, but your heart is broken and wants to be anywhere but where you are. Hugs to you, wish I could share the glass of wine on your porch.
ReplyDeleteA very alone feeling poem. Glad that you have a dog. Teacher's give so much of themselves that it's easy to see why they are so tired by the end of the week, or sooner.
ReplyDeleteI was very moved by this piece. I found it very relatable. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteI think you will be enough for your students tomorrow. You will do what you need to do, even with a heavy heart.
ReplyDeleteAnd then you will rise and get on with your day. Carol, you are such a poet among all the other teaching talents. I just feel your voice every time you write. Always thinking good thoughts for you and your boys. Drink that glass of wine and toast yourself, that you got through the week. That's enough.
ReplyDelete