Test tired is really, really different from teaching tired.
Teaching tired is a good tired.
That first one in the building
with a bag full of books
and a head full of ideas
feeling.
Teaching tired is good tired.
The memory of a great read aloud.
A writing conference that moved a kid forward.
A science experiment that really worked,
A hug from a six-year-old
A laugh shared with a sixth grader.
The deep knowledge that
I am doing
work that
really, really matters.
But tonight
I am not that kind of tired.
Tonight
I am test tired.
Test tired is a kind of dull ache
that starts between my shoulders
and ends somewhere behind my eyes
Test tired is a day spent
moving furniture
and covering walls
and sharpening pencils.
Test tired is a robot voice,
"Today you will be taking the first session of the ****
Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.
Ringing in my ears.
Or the sad eyes
of a child
who asks for help
and is turned away.
Tonight I am test tired.
Test tired is really, really different from teaching tired…
Maybe some day no one will have to endure this kind of test tired! It drains and hurts our spirits. Thankfully it is over in a few days but in the middle of it it can seem like that day will never come. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOh, I could feel myself right in the midst of all those wonderful teach-tired moments AND know the numbing coma of being test tired! This is a perfect image of both. Get some rest and know that many many more good teaching tired moments are headed your way. :)
ReplyDeleteUgh...this is me in May - testing month. And this is exactly how our kids feel, too. Test tired. But...it will be over soon, Carol, and then you can return to teaching tired, but teaching happy.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right! I hate test days that drag on for eternity! Hope you'll be done soon!
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time, but somehow your words made me remember, especially that last part when a child wants an answer... and you cannot give it. Sorry for all of this, not helpful!
ReplyDeleteCarol,
ReplyDeleteYou have such a way with words. Tonight I am thankful to be "teaching tired." We had visitors in our room and this is the tired from the thoughtful conversations we had across our day. This is a tired from taking a minute to sit back and watch all my students are doing. I'll take "teaching tired" any day.
Cathy
Carol, you captured the test tired feeling so well, love the robot voice. I love your descriptions of all the ways you can be teaching tired and each so meaningful.
ReplyDeleteI know that robotic voice. It's my own. Ack.
ReplyDeleteThese lines resonated with me, unfortunately (not because of your writing, of course ...)
Test tired is a kind of dull ache
that starts between my shoulders
and ends somewhere behind my eyes
-Kevin
Oh, yes - I know exactly what you mean! I'll take teaching tired any day!
ReplyDeleteYES! You captured "test tired" perfectly. I'm glad that we are back to "teaching tired." Hang in there.
ReplyDelete