SLICE OF LIFE

 So it's January 1, 2013

and many of my friends in the blogosphere

are choosing 

the "one little word"
that will be a life-theme 

for this year.

2012
was a hard year
A year when I doubted myself
as a teacher
a mom
a friend
a human being
again and again and again.
 And a year when I doubted my God
again and again and again.

And now I am trying to choose a word for 2013.

Hmmm.
Just one word.
Maybe my word should be Trust?
I want to trust that last year was part of a bigger plan
That all things will work for good.
And that this year will be better.
Maybe trust would be a good word.

Hope?

Maybe my word should be Hope?

2012 was a hard year for our family

A lot of dreams had to die.

And I am having a hard time believing

that we will regain our footing
that my boys will find their way
grow into the men that God
intends them to be.
Maybe hope would be a good word. 

Open?
Maybe my word should be Open. 

The boys are leaving…

I want to be open

To whatever might come.

 As hard as this year has been

I am not sure

that I am ready to be done

having kids at home.

And I wonder

is there another kid out there

in the foster care system

That needs me

as much as I need them.
Maybe open would be a good word.

Explore.
Maybe my word should be explore.  
This year, I want to explore
a new hobby--
some kind of art-
clay, or collage, or knitting, or watercolor.
I want to explore new volunteer work--
maybe with a agency
that trains service dogs,
or rescues Golden Retrievers or labs.
I want to explore a new kind of physical activity-
maybe go back to swimming, or try water aerobics.
Maybe explore would be a good word. 

So, while I know
that this is January 1st
and I should be ready
to choose a word
right now I can't.

For right now, my word is
wait.