SLICE 10/31- Rooney's Best Girl

A few days ago, I wrote about all of Rooney's girlfriends. 

He is definitely a fickle guy. 

And yet, in spite of all of his flings, he has one true love. 

It's my thirteen-year-old lab mix, Star.

Star is old. And chubby. And a teeny bit crochet-y. 

She snaps at him when he irritates her. 

Occasionally growls or barks. 

But Rooney fell in love with her that very first day.

And his love is undying. 

Every morning, the first thing he does when he wakes up is to hunt for Star.

And the first thing he does when we come home from school is to hunt for Star. 

Sometimes, she is asleep on the bed next to his kennel. 

Sometimes she is asleep in the bedroom.

Once in a while, she will be laying out on the back porch. 

Rooney always greets her enthusiastically. 

Sometimes too enthusiastically. 

Rooney is not exactly the greatest boyfriend. 

For starters, he has absolutely no personal boundaries.

He sits on her. 

Jumps off the bottom stair onto her back.

Lays as close as he can get on her bed. 

Drops his toys on her face. 

Drags her around by the collar. 

Pulls on her ears. 

Insists on endless games of bitey-face.

Star puts up with him. 

I think somehow she knows

she is his best girl.

SLICE #9/31-TOO BIG

When I was a little girl, I loved to put on my mom's high heels, or my dad's rubber rain boots and tromp around the house. My balance, of course, was more than a little precarious.

And somehow, that image dances through my head pretty regularly these days.

Pretty much every time I write with my sixth graders.

Every day, I ask them to try on shoes that are a little too big.

One day it's all about point of view. "Read this short story," I say. "When you are through, we are going to write a poem from the main character's best friend's point of view."

And the kids slog valiantly ahead.

Another day we talk about theme. "Today we are going to write literary analysis essay that compares how the author develops the coming of age theme in two different texts," I say.

And the kids slog valiantly ahead.

Right now we are writing persuasive letters. The kids chose their own topics and audience.We should be allowed to keep our cell phones. We should have a school letter jacket. We should have more after school sports and activities for middle schoolers.

There is a lot more voice and energy in their writing.

They are excited because the audience is bigger than their teacher. We are actually going to give the letters to someone.

Tomorrow we have to try persuasive essays.

And those too big high heels and rubber boots are once again dancing around in my brain.

SLICE #8/31- A DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 KIND OF DAY

Today was one of those "DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200" kind of days. Not awful, but definitely a day where I just kind of did, and redid, and redid, but never quite got anything done.

1) I got up early and wrote my slice. It was about trying to parent my 26-year-old son, which has been more than a little challenging for about the past six months. After I finished it, I decided that maybe it was too personal and  wasn't fair to him to post it, even though he never reads my blog. So 45 minutes writing a post I will never use.

2) I was going to visit my mom in Colorado Springs (about 90 minutes south of where I live), like I do pretty much every Sunday. I was on my way out the door, literally, with keys in one hand and dog leash in the other, and my mom called. She had had a really busy day yesterday and was tired and didn't want me to come. She might have been fudging a little, and just saying that because she knew I had had a really busy weekend, but I ended up not going.

3) This afternoon, Rooney and I went to the grocery store. My store is going through a huge remodeling, which will be great when it's done, but right now, it just takes forever to find anything. I left my cart in one aisle, while I went around a corner to find the Hot Pockets, which my son thinks are one of the four food groups. When I came back, my cart, which was about 2/3 full, was missing. I went back one more aisle, thinking maybe I had misplaced it, but no cart. Then I spied a woman a little ways ahead, pushing what looked like my cart. I hustled after her, and tried to politely say that I thought she had my groceries. At first she was a little miffed, insisting it was her cart, but it really wasn't, I could see my son's store brand white bread, and the dark chocolate I had bought for my secret pal at school. The woman had put a few items in on top of my groceries, and wanted to go through everything in the cart to make sure she had her groceries. Ten minutes later...

4) After I got the groceries unpacked and walked the dog, I was ready to do school work. I am not a television person, but I do like the background noise of the television when I am doing schoolwork. Tonight, the television happened to be on, because my son had been watching. The channels he likes are very different from those that I like. The remote had gone AWOL, as it seems to regularly do, and so I attempted to change the channel from Channel 300 to Channel 7 manually. Except somehow I pushed the RECORD button which I had never used. And then I couldn't get it to turn off. And my son couldn't get it to turn off. And the television wouldn't let me change the channel until it was done recording, which was about two hours later. And I didn't want to watch "The Simpsons," which was the channel it was stuck on. And we still haven't found the remote, three hours later. My son thinks Rooney took it, which is always a possibility, but if he did, he buried it somewhere in the backyard.

5) And now I'm grading restaurant reviews, which alternately make me laugh out loud, and want to weep, because we have to take our state tests in two weeks, and they have to be ready to write persuasively. Here are a few favorites:

AC reviewed Wendy's

I love me some Wendy's. The food there is amazing. You should definitely try the spicy chicken combo because you get a soda which i'm pretty sure is large size and you also get the sandwich which tastes super good 

It might take a while to get your food but it is definitely worth it. It is a fast food restaurant so sometimes you can get your food fast, but it depends.
The service is good and they are really nice. If you are a cheapskate, you might find it expensive but if you are not that cheap, trust me buying this food will be amazing. Overall, if you go inside it might not be that clean but it is a little clean but once again it is still worth it. 

They accept anyone. Even if you are in a wheelchair or have a disability, they will still be really nice to you.

L reviewed McDonald's, although I'm not sure she has ever been there. 

If you are in the mood for some burgers or more fast food like nuggets or fries, come to McDonalds. I don’t really eat the burgers over there at McDonalds but i’ve heard the burgers are good. But then again we all have different tastes and i’ve never tried the burgers before so i am not very sure how they taste.  

K chose to review Applebee's.

 Applebees has good service besides the fact that they take forever to get your food to you.

J reviewed a more upscale Italian restaurant.

In my opinion, you should go to Italiano's because the food is very delicious, and the service is also very good. The bathroom is clean, and there are mints, hairspray, and mouthwash.  

Umm, ok, so I guess we need a little more practice with persuasive writing.

Definitely a "DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200" kind of day. 

SLICE 7/31- OPRAH AND ME

Our original seats, Section 324

8 a.m. My friend, Kathy, and I huffed and puffed our way up the stairs to Section 324, Row 13 of the Pepsi Center.

Oprah! No matter that we were half a block from the stage and would probably spend most of the day watching the jumbotron. We were going to see Oprah! We had bought tickets more than a month ago and finally, the big day had arrived.

We hadn't been sitting in our seats in Row 324 for more than five minutes when an usher approached.

"Would you like to move closer to the stage?" she asked. "Oprah has just released some tickets and they are much closer to the stage."

"How much would it cost?" I asked. The seats we currently had, even as high as they were, had already cost more than $200 apiece.

"Nothing," she said. "The seats are empty. You can just take these tickets and move down there."

Kathy and I just looked at each other. We had the opportunity to move from seats that were about ten rows from the top of the theater to seats that were about ten rows from the stage? A day doesn't start out much better than that!

And only got better!

Oprah walking the audience through a vision setting exercise.

Julianne Hough leading an exercise session.

Grammy award winning rapper Common performing spoken word poetry.

Gospel singer Tamela Mann.

Oprah interviewing Gayle King, her best friend for more than 40 years.

The day ended with Oprah sharing her own life story.

My heart is full.

SLICE 6/31- Happy Mouseday to Me!

Happy Mouseday to me!

So today is my birthday. My 61st birthday. I had a birthday celebration with friends last night and will have another one tonight. However, today started out a little inauspiciously.

This morning I got up and took my shower. Then I went upstairs to the kitchen to make coffee. On the kitchen floor, right by the trashcan, was a dead mouse. Now I can handle many things. I am not afraid of spiders or snakes or things that go bump in the night. But I absolutely, positively cannot handle mice! I have a pest service that comes regularly, but I live in an old neighborhood and people are constantly renovating and rebuilding. A couple of months ago, they tore down the old house behind me, and all of the mice that lived under that house have now moved across the alley to my house. So, so, so, so gross! Ewwww!

Well, of course I did the only logical thing.

I grabbed my coffee and ran back downstairs and stayed there for an hour.

But then it occurred to me that the mouse, because it was dead, would probably still be there. My sons don't do mice, so I knew it was up to me.

I bravely put on my boots and marched back up the stairs. My plan was to throw a bag over the mouse so I wouldn't have to look at it, then slide a piece of cardboard underneath it, dump it into the trashcan, and then carry the garbage bag quickly outside.

Except after I threw the bag over it, I couldn't really find a piece of cardboard that was sturdy enough to support the mouse. And I didn't want it to fall on the floor and touch me, or anything like that.

And so I went to Plan B. I got a big disposable cup. I put it over the bag which was over the mouse. I tipped the cup so nothing could fall out. I slid an old Blomberg election ad over the top. I dumped the whole thing into the trash and carried it, as fast as I could, outside.

Happy Mouseday to me!

SLICE 5/31- On presidents and immigrants

The questions begin the minute she sees my "I Voted" sticker.

Who did I vote for?

Will that person be the new president?

Is the election over now?

If the election isn't over, when will it be over?

Why did I vote today if it wasn't the election?

I explain, as best as I can, the process for the presidential primaries, tracing the timeline on a desk with my finger. She watches anxiously.

"So in November?" she says, "In November it will be over?"

And does the one you elected, does he like immigrants? Or will he make us go home?

And again, for about the millionth time in the last year, I have no words.

SLICE #4/31- SOY UNA VIEJA

Hoy es miércoles. Wednesday.

That means one thing.

La clase de español.

I started taking Spanish when I was in fifth grade.

Stopped until college.

Took it for two years, until the professor told me that I had gotten as fluent as I was going to get unless I did a semester abroad.

Played around intermittently for the next thirty years.

Nine years ago, I was hired to work at a dual language school. And was totally blown away by how my colleagues, and my students, some as young as kindergarten, could move seamlessly between Spanish and English, depending on whom they were talking to.

I wanted to be able to do that too.

I dabbled in Spanish for the next few years.

About two years ago, I decided I wanted to get serious.

I really do want to learn Spanish.

I want to be able to interact with my colleagues in both languages.

I want to talk with my students and their families.

And so at least once a week, and more if I can squeeze out the time, I attend Spanish class.

Tonight was that night.

This semester, the teacher is Bex, who also owns the school. Except she wasn't there tonight

Subbing in was Austin. I think he's probably about my son's age. Austin graduated from college, spent several years traveling the southern hemisphere perfecting his Spanish, and is now back in the United States, going to grad school and teaching Spanish on the side.

There were four other students in class tonight. All about my son's age. I definitely felt like una vieja (an old lady). 

But if there is one thing I have learned in taking Spanish, it's that you just have to put yourself out there. Try. Make mistakes. Laugh at yourself. Try again.

And so that's what I did.

And even though I was the oldest, and definitely not the most fluent, I had fun. Practiced past and imperfect verbs. Learned the superlative.

I really do want to learn Spanish.

Even if I am una vieja.